英文版本，请见下方。

在中国，绝大多数人都会面临外在的压力，尤其是在做重大职业决定时更是如此。虽然别人的初衷都是要帮你，但他们的建议有时反而会让你做出不理想的职业选择。不少人最终陷入不理想的工作或不开心的职业环境中，都是因为这个原因。别人告诉他们什么对他们最好，他们也照单全收。但最终，承担职业选择结果的不是他们，而是你。

 他们不是你

我在做职业发展演讲时，我总是鼓励在场的所有人在做出重大职业决定时，多多关注重要的内在因素，比如你对什么最感兴趣或者你喜欢做什么。因此，我也常常收到下面这类问题：同龄人、父母、朋友、同事、同学、社会等等经常会告诉我做什么更好，这种压力要如何处理呢？

对此，我的回答是：“总之，我只能和你说：他们不是你。”换言之，他们无论说什么都只代表他们自己的观点。你应该比其他任何人都更了解自己，知道自己喜欢什么讨厌什么，在乎什么又对什么无所谓，什么能让你动力十足，什么能让你兴奋不已。

到头来，承担职业选择后果的是你，不是他们

在追求和评估一个新的就业机会时，听取别人的建议和主张很正常。他们分享的想法和观点都是肺腑之言，都是为你的利益着想。他们都希望你能有最好的结局，能事业有成，开开心心。总之，听取别人的建议和观点是件好事。

但是，为了不陷入让你感到不开心、沮丧、迷茫甚至困惑的工作或职业环境中，你需要做出最适合自己的正确决定。在职业（实际上还有人生）这方面，最终每天去做你不喜欢的工作、去不喜欢的公司、去面对职业的不是他们。要忍受并不适合自己也不愿意面对的环境并在其中度过每一天的也不是他们，而是你。尽管关心你的人都在尽己所能助你一臂之力，但归根结底你是那个要承担职业选择后果的人，不是他们。所以，你的职业选择要你自己掌握，你来决定什么最适合你，不要指望别人帮你做出决定。

How To Weigh The Advice Of Others In Your Career Decisions

Dealing with outside pressure is a huge reality in China that most people feel, especially when it comes to making important career decisions.  While the intention of others is always meant to help you, oftentimes their advice can lead to your making poor career choices for yourself.  It’s a big reason why you find many who end up in bad job or unhappy career situations.  They listened to others who told them what was best for them.  But in the end, your career choices don’t become their reality, they become yours.

They’re Not You

In my career development presentations, I always encourage attendees to pay attention to key internal factors that are important to you when making big career decisions, like what you’re most interested in or what you enjoy doing.  In response, the question often comes up about how to handle the pressure from peers, parents, friends, colleagues, classmates, society, etc. who often tell you to do something different than what you want.

What I say to them is, “At the end of the day, all I can tell you is that they’re not you.” Meaning, whatever others tell you, it’s from their perspective.  But you’re the one who should know yourself better than anyone else.  What you like and dislike.  What you care and don’t care about.  What motivates you, or gets you excited.

Ultimately, You Live Your Career Decisions, Not Them

During the process of pursuing and assessing a new job opportunity, it’s normal to get career advice and strong opinions from many others.  In fact, the thoughts and perspectives they share with you are genuine and sincere, with your best interest in mind.  They want the best for you, and for you to be successful and happy.  Overall, getting advice and seeking out the opinions of others is a good thing.

However, to avoid a job or career situation that makes you feel unhappy, frustrated, lost, or confused, you have to make the right decisions regarding what’s best for you.  When it comes down to your career (and life, for that matter), it’s not others who have to show up at a job, company, or career every day that you don’t like.  It’s not others who have to endure or live a situation that doesn’t suit you, or that you don’t really want to be in.  It’s you. Although those who care about you are trying their best to help you, ultimately, you’re the one who has to live your career decisions, not them.  As a result, you need to be the one to take complete ownership of your career choices and for what’s best for you, and not look to others to determine this for you.

（责任编辑：职场达人）